This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
