I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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