I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
