fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize