I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize