Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
