Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
