I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize