I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
