I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
