discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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