There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
