I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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