Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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