just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
