Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
