Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
