Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I wear drunk well.
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