I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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