Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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