It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
