we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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