So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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