I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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