All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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