Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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