My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
