Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
