dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
