He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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