We won't sleep together?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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