I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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