Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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