so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
