She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
