I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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