so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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