Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize