i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
