Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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