I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
