its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
