i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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