I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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