Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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