...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
