no, he came in my armpit
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
