Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
