She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
