just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Randomize
