Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
