it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
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I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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