hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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