my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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