I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
