It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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