if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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