your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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