Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
