I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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