i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Just puked most of my soul out..
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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