the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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