that's an acceptable place to lick
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
